Got a wedding to perform at? Here’s some classics to get you warmed up

The Nervous Bride

wedding photographs from CalgaryA bride’s clearly nervous – not paying full attention, lost in thought, very distressed, when one of her guests asks what’s going on, why is she so upset?

The bride says that she’s nervous and afraid that her memory will fail her when it comes time to do the actual ceremony. The friendly guest says, “pfft, it’s easy, dear, you just need to remember three simple things.”

“First, the aisle – you’ll be walking straight down it, and only for a few steps, really. Second, the alter because that’s where you’ll stop at the end of the aisle. Third and final thing to remember is the hymn – the song we’ll all sing when the service begins.”

Feeling slightly buoyed, the bride was ready for the ceremony and proceeded with confidence. As she walked to the wedding march, family and friends of her husband to be were horrified and felt sorry for him, as they could hear her uttering three words over and over again – “Aisle. Alter. Hymn. Aisle. Alter. Hymn.” (I’ll alter him!)

Drinking Buddies

At a wedding in Alberta, the best wedding photographers in Calgary┬ábanded together and yelled out, “Can all the married men please go and stand next to the one special person who makes your life worth living?”

The bartender was just about crushed to death.

Photog Burn

Don’t tell this one to the Calgary engagement photographers you know…

Wanna know the best and fastest way to make money as a photographer?

Sell your camera!

The Classic Lightbulb

This one is more for the lonely guy at the back who calls himself the greatest wedding videographer Calgary has ever seen!

How many photographers (or in this case videographers – change it up a bit, make it your own) do you need to change a single light bulb?

Fifty. Just one to change the bulb, and forty nine to say, “I could have done that!”

Thinking of taking a job at a wedding?

Everyone wants to do something special for their wedding. Get a band, get a special cake, take cool pictures, have it some place warm and nice.

But some people are sick and twisted, and love to hire comedians. Good news, right?

You’d think so, because hey, more work and more chances to make people laugh. Naturally, we’re not trying to dissuade you from doing wedding gigs but we’re here to warn you…brush up on your self defense skills first! Check it out:

Can you believe that? That’s total insanity! I guess this is what you have to deal with if you’re at a place where not everyone wants you. The bride and groom obviously do, else they wouldn’t have hired you, but remember that people in the crowd are there for the wedding and might not be the typical stand up types.

So if you’re not ready to take a few actual punches after you’ve landed your verbal one-two-combo, maybe stay away from weddings. Unless you’re sick and love weddings, in which case, maybe try becoming a videographer. Somewhere…nice. Like Calgary. Or Alaska.

Matt Kazam

Check out this clip of Matt Kazam performing at DC Improv.

Matt is a long-time comedian (25+ years of experience) who has performed over 6000 stand up shows according to his website, and many more events.

He seems to be liked by many of the people who have seen him perform.

Wondering who else has done hilarious things in DC?

Dave Chappelle, obviously. Check it:

We’ll bring you more of the funniest stuff said in DC. We want to help you enjoy as much comedy in DC as possible by supporting local artists and letting you know about big name acts. We want everyone to enjoy as much as possible!

Best Places to Watch Comedy in DC

The DC Improv

Site: http://www.dcimprov.com/

Location: 1140 Connecticut Avenue NW

Why: The DC Improv is totally dedicated to all things comedy here in DC. If you are looking for a great night out, go there. If you want to take comedy classes, go there. If you want an entertaining place to grab a bite to eat, go there.

There are all these reasons why you should stop by and take a show at the DC Improv Comedy Club.

They’ve been around for 20 years now, so they’re legit and have a ton of experience making people laugh.

This place is dedicated to comedy and is full of history. They bring in amazing comics all the time (coming up they’ve got Todd Glass, Jeff Caldwell, Jim Norton…and hey with their classes, you could be next!).

It’s just an awesome place to take in some comedy.

Warner Theatre

Site: http://warnertheatredc.com/

Location: 513 13th Street NW

Why: Just look at the place (click here for their pics). It’s an awesome building and a wicked place to go for a bigger show. Obviously with the size of it, you’ll get larger acts, but there’s nothing like being part of a stand up show in one of these big theatres.

If you haven’t taken in festivities at a place like this, you absolutely have to. The carpeting is amazing, the stage is huge, the seating is impressive. Everything is designed to make a medium sized to large show, depending on your definition, the best it possibly can be.

What you get here is the experience. It’s not the raw stuff you get at smaller clubs, it’s the rich, open, full experience that only a theatre can provide. Definitely recommended to find a show there if you can.

The Howard Theatre

Site: http://thehowardtheatre.com/

Location: 620 T Street NW

Why: Over 100 years of history, that’s why. Though it was closed through through the 70s, 80s, and 90s, it still has character and is enjoying a revival of sorts that makes it an exciting, happening place to be. While you get all the old and cool stuff, you get a sense of the new passion bubbling underneath.

There are some huge performers who get up on stage at The Howard. Therefore, if you go, you’ll no doubt have a great time simply because of the quality of performer it attracts. You’ll also love the ambiance, it’s a really cool place.

These places are must-goes if you’re looking for a great experience when you’re watching some comedy.